This Is Why I Swim
In September 2017, my 14-year-old daughter Grace swam the mile at the Atlanta – Swim Across America open water event. Afterward, she publicly shared her thoughts during the ‘Why I Swim’ portion of the awards ceremony. Her speech can be seen here:
Grace had planned to swim the 5K at the 2018 Atlanta SAA event, but sadly that wasn’t possible. It wasn’t possible because she died 6 months earlier on March 25, 2018 after living with osteosarcoma for 4 years. In 2018, a group of us swam the mile in Grace’s honor. The following year, we swam the 5K. This year, however, I have ‘Grace-sized’ plans. This year, I plan to swim in 14 of the Swim Across America open water events.
Why am I swimming?
The answer lies somewhere within those moments on March 25, 2018 when Grace could no longer speak. When Grace could no longer tell her story. But the answer also lies somewhere in the moments on that same day when I had to tell Caroline, Grace’s younger sister, that Grace had died. In that moment, Caroline could no longer speak either. But not because she no longer had a voice. Caroline could no longer speak because the heart break was so thick you had to fan it away from your face just in order to see.
I am swimming in 14 Swim Across America open water events not only to honor the life of Grace who lived for 14 years and swam in 14 swim meets during that time, but also to honor the loss experienced by Caroline. I am swimming because my daughters taught me that the bonds of love are much thicker than the shadows of death.
I am swimming for a better future in which mothers like myself no longer have to say goodbye to one daughter at the hospital only to drive home to break the heart of their other daughter.
I am swimming to honor Grace and Caroline’s beautiful friendship and the lessons that they have both taught me in life and death.
I am swimming because something happens deep inside of you, when in the middle of the night your daughter whispers to you, ‘Mom, will you please pray for me?’
I am swimming with the hope that there will be fewer occasions for younger sisters to speak at their older sister’s funeral because the treatment that they received for their cancer has not changed in over 4 decades.
I am swimming because I want to be like Grace and Caroline. I want to hold firm to faith, love, courage, selflessness, and above all, hope. Swimming helps me to continue to choose hope over despair. And if I continue to choose hope then Grace will never be gone. And that’s because as Grace taught us all…Hope Has No Finish Line.